One of the items that I inherited from my grandmother was her scale.  The “old-fashioned” kind where a black line waves at you as opposed to digital numbers staring back at you.  The kind where if you stood on one foot, the numbers changed.  And if you jumped up and down, the numbers went all over the place.  While the fact that the scale registered my weight at about ten pounds less than what I actually weighed was encouraging in one sense, that was also confusing.  So, I “upgraded” to a digital one that seems to stay more steady.  Sort of.

That number on my new scale seems to fluctuate too.  Going up when I have had a few too many “I deserve a break today” treats.  Going down when I am running and drinking my water.  Going all over the place depending on what time of the month it is registering.  Going and wreaking havoc on my heart & soul when I let a number dictate how I feel about myself.

I wrote about this struggle on the First Free MOPS blog (where you used to find me writing until I “graduated” 🙂 ).  To Crave God  I wanted this to be the summer where I addressed this issue that has literally been weighing me down.  And I am proud to announce that I have lost … my feelings of desperation.  How many pounds?  I am not sure.  One of the conditions of the study was that we were requested to put away all scales for the duration of the study.  That was a harder move than I anticipated.

My scale where it has been all summer: in the back of a cupboard reachable only by a ladder.

The focus of the Made to Crave book and Bible study by Lysa Terkhuerst is simple: learn to crave God more than food.  Hungering after God and His righteousness because that is what will really fill your longing heart.  She does not provide six simple tips for weight loss or even provide an eating plan at all (although she does promote the necessity of finding some type of healthy eating plan that you can live with!).  Her emphasis is on what the Bible has to say about health, which was more than I anticipated.  She even addresses (gulp) … gluttony.  Often a Christian’s favorite overindulgence.

Her twist on a familiar quote is what definitely sticks with me.  “Nothing tastes as good as peace feels.”  Peace that comes when you know you are eating to live, not living to eat.  Peace when you know you are not sneaking an extra piece of chocolate or eating more than your stuffed stomach can handle.  Peace that comes when you seek His face first when your heart feels empty rather than trying to fill yourself with all that is in the refrigerator.

I am in a better place than I was at the beginning of the summer.  Being a part of that Bible study was definitely a healthy first step.  For one thing, I have a group of ladies that I can text/e-mail when I would rather eat a pan of brownies instead of praying.  They will remind me that I can be an overcomer and that this issue does not need to dominate me the rest of my life.

The Made to Crave study helps you move forward …

1. From deprivation to empowerment
2. From desperation to determination
3. From guilt to peace
4. From triggers to truth
5. From permissible to beneficial
6. From consumed to courageous

While I have many steps to go, I do know that I am on the right path.  After all, the study ended, and I am still on my healthy eating plan.  Not that I follow it perfectly.  If you read my other blog, you would know that I made kolaches this week, and they were a little too good.  And I enjoyed barbecue last night with portions bigger than I probably needed.  But I am back this morning to exercising and drinking my water and will be monitoring my food intake a little more carefully today.  Today is a new day.

My scale will be making an appearance again soon in my life.  I have found that I do need a weekly date with it for accountability.  But I am now okay with the fact that the number will always be changing.  And I think that the scale will be more an indicator rather than an item to fixate on.  As I continue to draw near to God when I am overwhelmed, the pull of a brownie will lessen.  My heart is more at peace with the struggle, and the author is right – nothing feels as good!

Perhaps this is a journey that you need to begin as well.  If you would like to learn more or are in need of daily encouragement, you can sign up at the Made to Crave website for 21 days of encouraging e-mails.  You can also search the site for additional resources.

P.S. A big hug to the ladies in my Bible study.  Thank you for being encouraging voices to me all summer.  I was blessed to begin this journey with you and hope that we do continue to find a way to encourage each other through this process!