When the New Year started, my goal was to post on this site every other week. Since over two months have passed since I last posted, obviously I have been rather unsuccessful. I heard a quote once that said that “Man makes plans. God laughs.” While I think that quote might not completely be consistent with God’s character, I do see some truth in the premise. What I think should be God’s plan for my life is often far, far different than what really takes places. Although wandering around in confusion can be wearing, when I look back I can see that His plans were far better than my preconceived ideas.
Right now God is definitely stretching my faith again. Since part of what is going on is still in process, I am going to wait to reflect on all that I have been learning. Yet I can verify one thing.
I am NOT in control.
If I were, my life would be clear-cut and easy to follow. Predictable. Manageable.
Back in November, my husband and I went to see TobyMac. A fun date night to celebrate our birthdays. He debuted his song “Beyond Me” – another brilliant selection by one of my favorite artists. Little did I know just how much his lyrics would make an impact on my life right now.
That You gave me the stars put them out of my reach
You called me to waters a little too deep
Oh, I’ve never been so aware of my need
You keep on making me see
It’s way beyond me.
I told a friend via e-mail this morning that I am ready to be done with the process. I am ready to know direction. I want to be able to plan it all out. But that is not what seems to be happening. God is keeping me up in the air because He is exercising my faith muscles. The ones that can easily become flabby because, goodness knows, I hate stretching. I like being comfortable. By showing me that all I can do is cling to Him through the process, I am seeing His provision in new ways.
Although I feel like I am drowning at moments right now. I am seeing more and more my need for my Life Preserver. Our kids are having to also walk in faith – lessons that I would not voluntarily choose for them. Yet God is showing us that He is present. Since all of this is beyond us, all we can do is cling to Him. Which is exactly where He wants us to be.